058 Gossip, Glares & Growth
What happens when your business tools make you the target of a wild assumption at a networking event?
Quick Quiz Time 🥳
What triggered the woman’s incorrect assumption about Zoë at the masterclass?
A) Zoë asked too many questions
B) She had colourful makeup
C) She had two phones
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Correct answer: C) She had two phones - ☎️📱What assumptions in your marketing do you make?
058 Gossip, Glares & Growth
We unpack the hilarious and awkward moment when a stranger assumed the worst based on the simplest of cues ☎️📱 two phones. Through this eyebrow-raising encounter, we explore how unchecked assumptions can sabotage your brand and networking success.
Sometimes a funny story holds a mirror to how we operate in business. This episode starts with an awkward assumption made in public, someone thinking Zoë was an escort just because she had two phones. While it makes for a jaw-dropping story, the deeper takeaway is how easily assumptions shape our interactions and brand perception.
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We often don't realise how much our personal bias or unresolved baggage influences the snap judgments we make about others. And when you're building a personal brand, those moments can damage trust or limit your business opportunities. Zoë breaks it all down with humour and real talk, showing us that being curious, not critical, opens more doors, both personally and professionally.
So next time you’re networking or just existing in public with a quirky habit (like a second phone), check in with yourself before reacting. And if you're struggling with how to present yourself clearly and confidently on camera or in business, Zoë from Video Confidence Coach is here to help you untangle the chaos. Reach out, your personal brand deserves better than assumptions.
What Was Discussed This Episode + Timecodes:
00:00 - Gossip alert: a masterclass encounter gone weird
06:00 - The power of assumptions and how they start
12:00 - The shocking reveal: mistaken identity at its finest
18:00 - Turning a cringe moment into a branding lesson
23:00 - Tools for pausing, reflecting, and staying curious
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Zoë Wood 00:00
Would you like some Goss, come, go, come, come, come closer. I have some gossip for you so you will not believe what happened to me. The other day. I was at a master class, and I got this death stare from this other woman. Do you want to find out why keep listening? If you're tired of the old cookie cutter marketing advice and want to take your personal brand to the next level with bold, actionable strategies that truly reflect you, you're in the right place. Let's untangle your marketing mayhem with Zoe the video confidence coach on the unboring your brand podcast, unboring your brand was recorded on water, rung land. Welcome everyone to the podcast today, and thank you for that little whispering intro. And I apologies for everyone who enjoys ASMR. I am not an ASMR artist, and I probably wasn't giving you much of the tinkles, but today I wanted to talk and break down a little bit of a funny anecdote about assumptions, but then leading into an actual story and reasoning, which is what we do at the podcast, that this is why we have podcasts like this, to be able to lead you through a story and bring you along for the journey, to be able to realise your own assumptions that you might be having within your business. So let's get started with today's story. Now, of course, we're already talking about assumptions, how they can how they're made, how things can go wildly wrong, and why it's worth rethinking your assumptions, not just about yourself, maybe assumptions about people that you work with, maybe your clients or maybe your collaborators, slash competition, depending on how you look on it, and other other areas of your business that you have not really interrogated at all. So let's dive in today. So here is the story. So let me take you all the way back. So this is earlier this year, I went to a series of master classes about everything from, say, SEO to podcasting to brand reputation to pretty much a lot of the marketing classes. Because, as you can imagine, with someone who was marketing wise, I enjoy going to events where they're not exactly aimed at someone who maybe has my experience, but I want to see other people in the room of how they're reacting to the information that's being presented. Because I run regular speaking opportunities, so when I have the opportunity to actually sit in and watch other people do it, I take those notes when I can. But this is even before the master class, so I'm sitting outside. It's winter, it's cold, but I'm sitting there on this like little patio area outside of the masterclass, masterclass venue, and I'm sitting there before the event starts, and I'm doing a little bit of personal and business at the same time. So I've got my both my phones out, so I have both a personal phone and a business phone. The reason being, is that I personally find it nice and very relaxing to be able to turn my business phone off at the end of the day. So I'm not running after client. I'm not doing all the things when I should be focusing on my family, where I should be focusing on my sleep, where I'm focusing on these things that are not supposed to be you know, me, I'm able to have the luxury of having another phone that, essentially it's my old partner's phone, but it's a personal phone that I can pay for and use. So I digress. So I was using these two phones because I was doing a little bit of, like life admin as well as, like Business Admin, and doesn't kind of doing a bit between the two. And I was kind of bouncing between the two. And there I was just sitting there was just sitting there in front of the class. The class wasn't starting for like, another 15 minutes. So I'm like, I've got time. And then this woman comes past, and she catches my eye because she was, she's looking directly at me. She's staring right at me. So I lift my head up, thinking, Do we know each other? Do I say hi? Like, Oh, we're just fed into like, that's what's my assumption. And this woman who I did not recognise and did not know was just giving me the worst death stare. She was walking past with a scrunched up face, death stare, looking at me like down the eyes, down through her brows, and then storms into the session. And of course, I'm left naturally wondering, Do I know her? Did I do something wrong? What's the deal? Did I cut her off in traffic? I did not drive here that day. What? And I'm sitting there and I'm like, Oh crap, what have I done? And of course, you know the the session is about to begin, like within that next next couple minutes. So I'm like, okay, all right, so collect ourselves. Put all my put my phones on silent, put them in the bag, go inside, do the session. So it was a beautiful session. I was there also to learn, but also as to support the presenter who's at. Good business friend of mine, and after the session. So we had the session, and then we had a bit of a break, and she was talking with other people. So I thought, no, don't worry. I won't give her, you know, too much, you know, I won't approach her just yet. And then after the session, I thought, Okay, at this point, we'd gone through the event. I had asked regular questions. It was a small enough event where people introduced who they were, so I did that like everyone else did. And then after the session had finished, I'd got up, and she was standing there at the back of the room. So I get up, and I approached her, and I just said hi, and her face immediately was sunken, was sullen, and I'm like, Oh, crap. It was a little bit like, internally I was a little bit crap. But on the outside I'm like, hi, because I'm like, I'm not entirely sure what I'm walking into. But again, at this point, we've been sitting in the same room for an hour and a half. We've got some sort of camaraderie here. So approaching her and I asked her just like, Hi, I'm doing I noticed before that you looked very upset with me before I'm just one checking in with how you're feeling. Coming across, to be honest, my initial thought was, I know you from somewhere because you're the way that you're looking at me is like, you know me crap. I don't know who you are, or I don't remember who you are, I'm gonna pretend I'm going in that middle ground of like we probably know each other because of the way you're looking at me. Um, okay, okay, okay, so, you know, I'm going in there with, of course, the mindset of giving giving her space to talk, giving her space that if she doesn't want to talk, that leaving her alone, that's perfectly fine, because, you know, life happens. I get it sometimes, you know, it's not the best day. You know, stuff happens. I get it. So, of course, I'm there just, you know, asking her, like, you know, checking in with how she's doing at this point, I kind of got an idea of what business she was representing, so I thought, okay, you know, I asked her a couple of questions about that, and she wasn't really giving me much response. She was giving me much response. She was giving me one word answer. So I'm like, Okay, it's clear that like I'm either making you uncomfortable or like my presence is off putting for you. Okay, I'm just gonna walk over and, you know, chat to the presenter or some other people that I already know in the space. And as I was about to go and as about as I was about to say, thank you for your time. Great to see you turn around. I was about to walk away. She says, wait. And I immediately pivot back and go, yes. And she sheepishly said, at a very low voice, I thought you're one of those. And I come in a little closer to her. Now, of course, in this time, I'm giving her as much like I'm giving her plenty of personal space again, keeping in mind that she'd not given me the best clues to begin with. So I'm like, okay, so I came in a little closer because she was speaking so softly, and I said, One of, one of what, and a bit of toing and froing. She eventually said, I thought you were one of those escorts. Now I want to stress starting off from this podcast that being an escort or a sex worker is real work. It is hard work. I have never done it myself, because personally, I do not have the work ethic for it. And for those people who are doing that work. Hats off to you. You do a very good job for society, and it is a job that I could never see myself doing just because of the amount of essentially ladder crap you have to put up with. I digress. So back to it. So she thought I was an escort, and at first I was taken aback, because I'm like, I What has and I remember, and I just remember breathing in and going, what gives you that impression? Not okay. I want to stress. I'm not, you know, poo, pooing it. I'm not denying it. I'm not like being like because that is not the right way to react around someone's profession. I was just went. What gave you that idea, am I giving off the wrong signals in the way that I network or present myself in my personal brand? And her reasoning was that I had two phones, and that was a telltale sign. And again, I paused, and at this point, we're fairly close together physically. Other people are around, and they're kind of like, you know, going out, you know, leaving the building. They're kind of hovering around. And I'm kind of, I'm getting closer, and I'm making sure not to speak too loudly. And I just said, what can you explain that for me? Please? Again, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, and also, again, giving her enough space that, if she needs to go, should go. And then, of course, she's, she's, she begins to tell me about her ex husband had some interesting choices. And you know, you can fill in the blanks from there and the way that and she had finally. You know, come across the people that he was hiring, and the way that she was able to visually identify them was they, you know, had two phones. And I took a breath, and I paused, and I said, Okay, well, and I just had to, like I and this. And at this point, she had raised her head and I said, Well, as we've discussed today, I'm a business owner. I have a personal and a private phone because I want to be able to finish my business like I want to be able to turn off my business life. I don't want to be on at 24/7 I and then again, I'm there, like, pausing myself, I'm like, I'm not entirely sure what to say to this woman, again, this stranger, keeping in mind that this stranger that I had barely met, and I just said to her that I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, and I hope that you're able to move on from this part of your life quickly and without issue. I was choosing my words very carefully, and she said, Okay, and then proceeded to grab her bag and walk out fairly briskly. And at that point, I just breathed in a couple of times and went, Okay, then turned around and carried all my business talking with is with people that I know. So of course, with the story that I've just told you, I want to reiterate that sometimes people assumptions have nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own package. Now we're moving on from the story part of today's podcast to the the actual learnings from today's podcast. So as you can imagine, thank you everyone for enjoying me, for indulging me in that gossip. And, of course, this stranger, you know, it's a story that I want to tell, and I'm going to do my best to, you know, not give away any identifying information, because it's it's understandable. Things happen. Our lives happen, and ultimately, we all do it. We all have assumptions alike. So we all have assumptions, and our brains are like shortcuts, and they help us make sense of things quickly to be able to help us survive, but often they miss the mark because we don't have the context of what's going on, or maybe we have some of the context, but in all of the context. Or in most cases, we feel like we know the context, but then we're quickly proven wrong by the context that surrounds us. In my case, just because someone has two phones does not mean they're living a double life, and it does not mean that they're not contributing to society. It just means that I value my work life balance, that I love the ability to be able to switch off my business phone when I want to focus on my family and my rest time. And in those moments, for example, it may not have been easy for her to overcome what she was currently dealing with and ask me, but to react in such, I would say, a very dramatic way. And that's coming from me, by the way, a very dramatic way. It was not a case of me wanting to people please, but it was more of a case of the disgust, the anger, the sullenness that she was showcasing was like, are you okay as a human being? Are you okay? And if something doesn't make sense, or if something is so confronting to you, just asking is a reasonable thing to do now, of course, with context, and especially when I'm speaking to adults, because if you're a kid watching or listening to me, best of luck to you. But usually, most of the time I'm talking to adults, you have context, you have understanding of what's going on. And if you're not feeling safe enough to ask, then sure don't ask, but then don't act erratically in exchange, yes, it's less awkward, and it means that you don't get the wrong idea at the end of the day. But some but assumptions can ultimately hurt you and ultimately hurt your business. And this is where we wrap it into the personal brand folks, when your personal brand is very linked to the work that you do or the actions that you take. Now, of course, sometimes some of these actions don't exactly aren't exactly your you know entirely your prerogative, but when it comes to building and growing, your personal brand, assumptions can lead to hurt. They can lead to unnecessary tension with, you know, with other clients, with other suppliers, with other referrals, with other like people in your network or even people outside of your network that UN. Necessary tension. Can turn things like a business networking session or a master class into a soap opera, and I don't really have any interest in pursuing that, frankly, in the work that I do and in the way that I network, yes, gossip is fun, and I'm going to do a I'm going to do a podcast episode in the future about gossiping and and how it's actually useful in the world of business. But when it comes to the assumptions that you do, they can also skew how people ultimately perceive you before you They truly get to know you and the work that you do. I've meant, I've mentioned just in previous live streams and other podcasts that I've done, I've also mentioned how people make assumptions of me. They think that I'm silly, that I'm frivolous because I dress brightly coloured and then I have crazy makeup and crazy hair, it's because it's fun, because it's enjoyable, because it's fun, boring. The podcast you're listening to, it's fun, and as an adult, we lose a lot of that fun and when it comes to assumptions, thinking negatively of someone can only lead to tension and upset with the other relationships that you have with people, but also just with the wider world that you have around you. If everything is out to get you, everything looks like a knife. So what can we do instead? So before jumping to conclusions, we can pause and reflect and take a moment to check the facts, the facts that we have already now, of course, you can definitely draw assumptions and conclusions from that, but taking a moment not to just react or act aggressively or act like something that could possibly put you in danger, like if I was someone who would, you know, the type of person who would see the actions of that woman walking in and then go in at cost her. Now I want to stress. I would not do that, but some people come with their own baggage, and if they see the absolute disgust on their face, they might take action, and again, that is assumption of my own, but I want to stress like being able to take that time to pause and reflect is also useful, just in your daily life, and also is a good meditative practice, making sure that you've stayed in a stay in a state of being curious but not judgey. If you're unsure of something, if you don't know what it's like to live in this person's life, day to day, approach the situation with curiosity, not criticism. Going back to the example, if the woman saw my two phones and, you know, immediately made the assumptions and conclusions in her head, she could have easily just went okay and then just moved on, did not immediately go down the criticism spiral and become very upset, not just for her sake, but possibly for mine and for other people in the room. And the last thing that I want to stress for a way that you can deal with these assumptions is to let it go. Not everything needs your immediate reaction. And if it is not directly impacting impacting you, you can let it slide. And as you build your personal brand, you have your missions and your values of what you stand by, and then there is stuff outside of that. Yes, you're allowed to have an opinion on it, and if it affects you, sure, Speak Your Peace. But if it doesn't affect you, I want to hear stories. I want to hear the lived experience from the people that do have that experience on a day to day level. And when talking about the bigger picture and coming back to marketing, because that's what we do here. The video confidence coach on boring your brand going back to marketing, assumptions are everywhere. And of course, because we don't always have all the information at hand, life would be very boring if we did, people assume ads are trying to manipulate them, while brands assume customers are blindly trusting them. Why? Because there are so many examples of that happening in the past. There are so many bad actors out there, but at the end of the day, people are just wanting to live their lives. They want enough money to feed themselves and their family. They want to support their community. And I guess that might be an assumption on my end, but at the end of the day, we're all human, I think that's a pretty decent assumption to make. So let's aim for clarity and connection, whether it be. In everyday life, always think of the bigger picture, not just in the work that you doing to grow your personal brand, but to build yourself as a human being. We've got one life, and it seems a bit silly to spend that time of spending your energy on thoughts and things that don't exist, especially things that you can't confirm. My closing thoughts for today is that assumptions, yes, they're unavoidable, but they don't have to define us or our actions, be it when we show up on our personal brand, when we show up in our business, or when we show up in our personal lives. The next time you catch yourself making a assumption or a grand assumption about someone's actions, thoughts, feelings, what have you? Give yourself a pause. Ask yourself, why am I thinking this? And then let it go. If it is putting you in danger, of course, do not let it go. Take action accordingly to not put yourself in danger. But I digress. And if you ever see someone with two phones, maybe just assume they're just working really hard and not living a secret life or utilising it for nefarious means. Because again, sex work is real work. Thank you everyone for tuning in to unborn your brand and joining me on this lovely gossip story, assumption filled train where you can remember to choose curiosity over judgement, both in your personal and your business life. Next time we're going to check on, I'm sure, some other useful things regarding your personal brand, we're going to be talking more marketing things definitely next week, and hopefully you can use this time to keep learning, keep growing, and maybe leave your assumptions at the door. Hope you have a wonderful time, and we'll see you next time. Or here you'll hear me next time. In the meantime, you can always reach out to me at zo at Vcc dot training, or you can check out my website, Vcc dot training, always happy to mentor and coach, and we can talk about some Thank you for listening or watching on boring your brand. You can find detailed show notes with tools, offers and episode transcriptions. Just click the first link in the description or go to Vcc dot training slash podcast. Get involved and ask me anything about personal branding, video strategy, or just a friendly Small Business chat via my email, g'day at Vcc dot training, that is G, D, A, y at Vcc dot training, the video confidence coach would like to acknowledge and pay my respects to the wadawurrung people of the Kulin nation, the traditional custodians of the land on which I record my podcast, I pay my respects to their elders, past and present, I stand with the traditional custodians of these lands and working towards a more equal future. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. Look forward to me chatting at you next week. Superstars.
The above livestream episode description and transcript were generated together human knowledge + ai.
Who is your host?
Feeling stuck trying to build a personal brand that actually turns heads? Women and non-binary super-stars deserve more than just a cookie-cutter approach to their worries. Zoë Wood the Video Confidence Coach untangles your marketing mayhem, helping you own the camera, craft killer video strategies, and connect with your audience like never before. You’ll leave with the tools to show up, stand out, and smash your goals.
Find out more about how to grow your personal brand with the power of video right here on vcc.training
Smashing Your Marketing Mayhem With Killer Video Strategies 🧡
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*Please note that this podcast was previously called THE "Video Confidence Coachcast" and the "Do Video Podcast" previous to 2025. THANK-YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING AS I TRANSITION THE BRAND TO BE MORE CONSISTANT FOR YOUR LISTENING AND WATCHING PLEASURE.